Why do we do what we do? Part 2

Why do you do what you do? Fill out: I live for _____

What if we could open the box of what-makes-people-tick and sort out everything into two simple categories of life motivations.

• … myself. What matters the most is how happy I am. If everyone thought that, maybe the world would sort itself out and be better since everyone would be selfish. Selfish doesn’t have to be bad. It just is. I read books to better or entertain myself. I focus on my career because I want to be ahead and respected. I want to earn money to buy myself things that bring me joy. I want my family to be happy because there is no drama and no stress for me if they are happy. If I am happy, there is one more happy person in the world.
• …others. Making my family, friends, co-workers, neighbours, strangers happy is the my biggest life goal. I want to be useful and value add-driven. If everyone thought that, maybe the world sort itself out and be a better place since everyone would be helping one another. I read books to learn so I can pass on the knowledge. I earn money so I can give it away. I even keep myself happy so I can make others happy. If people around me happy, then I am happy.

At every point in life, we are somewhere between the two categories. We do something for ourselves and we do something for others. Neither of the categories carry an inherent value of right or wrong (even though we love to assign it). I wonder if pondering on what category you mostly sit in is important or not. Do we need to figure out how selfish or selfless we are at any point in time and why does ‘selfish’ carry so much negative value in it.

When someone asks you: what do you live for? Do you find yourself wondering whether your initial thought about a big house, travelling and daily yoga needs to complemented by “oh and maybe help others achieve their dreams”?

Possibly there is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions. Possibly it is just a matter of figuring out what makes you — you. Where do you see yourself and how do you want to be remembered (and do you care about being remembered at all)? Selfishness and selflessness in no way cancel each other out and can never be truly separated.

I find myself judging selfish people. A lot. I don’t understand wealth that is not utilised outside of your own comfort. I don’t understand power that isn’t being used to help someone else. But I try to understand. I try not to judge. What would it feel like to think the opposite? Must feel normal to live for yourself, when you are living for yourself. Perhaps people that I judge think that they live for others. Perhaps they do?

Whether you want to ponder on this or not is your choice.

I am going to go downstairs and steal a chocolate bar.